Swim, Swim, Swim

When my oldest son was 5 I signed him up for swim lessons. Ian really enjoyed swimming but I was disappointed with his progress in class. They had a limited amount of room and with all the kids there was a lot of time spent just waiting for his turn. One of the other moms suggested I sign him up for the summer swim team at my community pool. I took her advice and thus began our swim team journey. That summer I happily took my child to the pool every morning and watched in amazement as he grew from a "just get to the other side" kind of swimmer into a kid who knew how to swim. This summer will be Ian's 9th year of swimming competitively. We went from summer teams to year-round swimming long ago. Now all three boys swim. I have to say I love this sport. My boys are learning such great life lessons from this sport. It takes hard work and determination, discipline, time management, commitment and perseverence to succeed. As a family we spend a huge amount of time at the pool. My sons have learned to relate to others in ways they might not in other sports. I've always felt that through this sport they have gained lots of moms and dads. We have met such great families and created so many nice friendships. They are learning to deal with success and failure. Its not easy to do well then turn around and console a friend who didn't do so well. Conversely its been tough learning how to lose gracefully. My sons aren't perfect angels, nor are they perfect swimmers but I know that they have profited from the experience.

The Weight Loss Journey

Where to start. I clearly remember the first time I was told I needed to lose weight. I was in sixth grade. I cried for what seemed like forever. Since that fateful day I have gained and lost more weight than I can possibly calculate. The ironic thing was that from sixth grade until after college I was never significantly overweight. It wasn't until I was married and my thyroid stopped working that I became overweight. I sure would have liked to have enjoyed the 11 years that I only imagined that I was overweight. The last 17 years have been filled with dieting, not dieting...gaining and losing....over and over. I am worn out from worrying about it. At some point I just gave up thinking I could ever become as "overweight" as I was before my thyroid stopped working. Though to be honest my thyroid is only one factor in my weight battle. I know that quitting smoking, having three kids, suffering from occasional bouts of depression, and dealing with my husbands deployments, and regular old stress contributes to the problem. Oh yeah, I also eat too much. Once again, I am trying to eat more sensibly and exercise more. I just feel defeated before I even begin. Not an auspicious way to start a diet. I am sick to death of dieting but I haven't much choice. I am once again at what I consider to be maximum density. It's time to do something. Wish me luck, I need all the help I can get.

The Teaching Journey

One dimension to my life is teaching. Don't get me wrong; I love what I do but it is crazy. I've spent most of my teaching career working with students who fall somewhere on the Autism Spectrum. For the last two years I have been working at an alternate school for students who have either emotional handicaps or have a handicap that relates to Autism. These students have been sent to us because they have had major problems in public school. Not all of their problems are of their own making. On a typical day I help students who don't fully understand the social variables of the world around them. It is interesting and challenging. It is also a little nuts. I get called nasty names, get told exactly what size I am, get threatened with violence, and am frequently told just what a horrible job I am doing. Some people tell me thats nuts. Have I mentioned that I love my job. I love helping students who have never had positive experiences with school learn that not all adults choose to not understand. I love knowing that at the end of the day I've accomplished something good even if I'll never see the results. For all the names I get called, for all the threats I deal with, for all the insults and "reality information" that gets thrown at me; in the end they get that I am trying to help them. They might not like admitting this but they know its true. It is a good feeling even if some days I go home feeling rather battered and frustrated. Despite the students level of difficulty, what is more difficult is knowing that many of my students go home to very dysfunctional situations. I can't fix that, I can only give them 6 good hours a day.

Off on a new adventure!

My world has been spinning like crazy lately. The last 5 months have brought radical changes to my life. My husband was retired from the Navy for medical reasons in January. He immediately got a job working for the Navy. My world began to sway...His new job is located back in Virginia. Too bad we lived in New Hampshire. OK, so we make plans to move. Due to finances and the students I teach we decide to move in stages. Dear Husband took our oldest son down to Virginia in March. He rented a nice house and began work. In April, my younger two boys joined him. I stayed to finish up the school year and rent out our house. This isn't how its supposed to work. My husband always was the one who went away and I stayed with the boys. This complete role reversal has me absolutely nuts. I always assumed that when Nick went away he was unhappy but not terribly burdened by it. I'm sure he knew that staying behind with the boys was hard. I am positive neither one of us was prepared for the reality of what the other was going through. It has been quite an eye opener. I feel so cut off and lonely. Nick and the boys are going through the motions of life. I have none of my normal routines to comfort me. Grown women are supposed to fantasize about time away from the kids and family...its supposed to be fun. Let me tell you; it sucks. I have three weeks left of this ordeal. I always look forward to summer vacation but this year is completely different. All I can say is thank god for the internet. I can video chat with the boys and download sad songs onto my ipod. I am a tad crazier than usual...and I am hoping that beginning this new adventure in blogging may keep me from falling off the edge. Welcome to my crazy journey through life.